Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
