The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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