I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
