In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Randomize
