that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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