"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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