Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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