Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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