The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
