i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
