what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Randomize
