I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
