:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
