I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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