***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
MIDGETS
????
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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