i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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