2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
organizing the empties. That sober.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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