ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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