Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
