Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Alive.
So much puke
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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