This girl is more easily done than said...
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
