I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
