Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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