Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
