If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
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