at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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