I'm pants shitting drunk right now
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
