You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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