I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
