I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
