Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Randomize
