I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
