I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
