have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
