yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
so let's talk penis.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Randomize
