if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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