It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
