Screwed.edu
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
You're a waste of cheezeits
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
