So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
They have beer where we have blood.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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