96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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