my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
