I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize