halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
