I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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