he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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