Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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