sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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