I'm jealous of your bromance
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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