We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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