WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
